With the impending doom of the next major transition, since just 12 short months ago when little A-bug arrived, namely...the big move to the new pad, my intrinsic nature to dread change has of course risen it's ugly head. I don't know what it is about it and I oh-so-wish I was like so many out there I know, that just rejoice with change and gracefully move along with every wind of it that comes their way. But I'm not and I don't. It's just not me. And I'm learning to understand the fact that although God wants to free me from the many things in life that hinder me from moving forward, He also accepts me and loves me right where I'm at.
So to add to the "big move" in 2 days, lil A has decided that now that she's a big 1 year old girl, she will resume a sleep pattern like a mini newborn babe, waking up MULTIPLE times a night and then for the day between the hours of 5-6am, after she'd been going down dreamily at 7:30pm until a wonderful 7am the next morning (which so blessed this survives-on-8-or-more-hours-of-sleep kind of girl.) SO knowing that D-Day is coming and knowing we both need a full tank of steam for the moving, unpacking, setting up and playing the "new home and many projects" game (with a toddler underfoot this time), while Will is also re-entering fall schedule of church life with Wednesday kid's church and football coaching to boot, and Anna and I will also be having to get situated with not having 2 extra sets of hands around during day and night when daddy's away (what every mama has to deal with daily I know, but we've been so blessed with help at the grand-rents house over the past 10 months, that it's just going to take a little adjusting for the both of us, in many ways)...we have both needless to say, felt a little bit streeeeetched with what is to come in the next couple of weeks.
As I woke up (or more like stumbled in) to rock my darling girl back down from her wailing stupor this a.m. at 5 something (I can't even read the clock that early in the morning and with the impending transition, I just don't have it in me to deal with sleep training right now when we're gonna have to re-deal with it again in another week after the move), I was reminded of the many forms of sweet peace and contentment that Jesus CAN and WILL provide even in the midst of the chaos that is about to ensue...
While we rocked together,
all snuggled up in the warmth of our fleece shared blankie,
in the quietness of the dark that was still settled over the land,
a sweet and innocent voice,
still hazy with sleep,
peeked into my ears and heart through pacifier covered lips...
It wasn't a question,
but just a quiet statement of contentment,
that she knew who I was and knew who she was to me,
and as long as we were together,
just dreamily rocking back to a sweet slumber,
it really was all going to be okay.
As trite as it sounds "Home really is where the heart is." And there is where my heart will stay, over these next few days that will turn into weeks and then months, and then I will once again just wonder what all that fuss was all about anyways? Because as long as we are all 3 together, nestled in close and even closer to our ever-present God, knowing who He is and who we are to Him, we lay back and re-discover that place of sweet rest. And the remainder of this season's winds of change? They will all pass and we'll be even better on the other side, after they've all blown by.
Thank you Lord, for moments like this. Just a few more doses of them are sure to get me through this season, as the leaves turn for the Irwin 3, once again.